An on going facelift

This little blog is an on going process that I am tired of waiting to start til I have it "perfect." Nothing is ever perfect, even though I'd REALLY like them to be :) So if I seem scattered or the blog feels scattered. I or it probably is! haha! So please be patient with me.

Listen to some tunes to perk up your day, or help the dreaded house work go by a tish faster. ENJOY!

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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

From Drab to Fab!!!

So... my friend introduced me to these fabulous ladies... and I seriously love them.  Is that weird?  It probably is... but I dont care....I love them, I love them and I dont care who knows it!! :) hahaha... anyway, they have the best makeovers ever.  The best thing about the makeovers is they are one, totally do able. and two are cheap to do!  WOOO! YAY!  Im seriously so excited about them.  I want to run out to DI or a thrift store right now,buy something that could be ugly beautiful and make it over!  So thats what Im going to do... See Ya!

Go here to check out there fabulous blog, become a follower and enter their giveaway! :)

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall..

...who is the fairest onnnee?...... What?  What the heck?!  I don't remember that roll being there...and when did gravity REALLY start taking hold?  I don't think those are supposed to sit on my belly that a red mountain or another small person trying to take control of my chin? stretch marks are reproducing, and when did my thighs start rubbing together.....and what foreign animal has my hair turned into, it has a life of it's own...."

This could be any given morning for me as I get ready for the day.  I examine, and critique everything... tucking, lifting, pulling...trying to make useless attempts of "fixing" whatever I think needs to be "fixed."

Why do we do this to ourselves as women?  I can't possibly be the only one.  If I was the only one, the plastic surgery business wouldn't be booming!  Why is it that no matter what we think, we aren't skinny enough, tan enough, boob-y enough, bootylicious :) enough, good enough?  

I think it started long ago...the thought planted into our brains as girls and now as women what "pretty" and "perfect" is.  Maybe this is why:

From dolls like Barbie, movies, TV, magazines, the runway, celebrities we are bombarded with what is normal and pretty, and what we SHOULD look like. Why is it they know what pretty is?  How do they know what makes me, you...US pretty, and beautiful?
ummm, ya..that's not normal.. That's not even pretty....

But this:

this is beautiful....
What are the very first things you notice? 
1. She looks genuinely happy...
2. Even with a belly that looks just like mine!!!
3. She is confident and "proudly showing off her pooch" (she probably didn't stand in front of the mirror adjusting and tweaking and picking at herself first)
4. She is absolutely, without question beautiful

She is a plus size model that was featured in Glamour magazine in an article called, "What Everyone But You Sees About Your Body." (Go here to read the article, it's AWESOME!) The woman's name is Lizzie Miller.  Just her picture caused an uproar in the fashion magazine world, and with women everywhere.(including yours truly!) Who was this plus size beauty baring all?

Here is a quote about the magazine's story:

          "On its own, the picture may not seem that incredible, but after flipping through 193 pages of uniform sample-size models, the image is striking. Rather than thinning her via Photoshop or having her sit in an unnatural pose, the model is shown with a bit of belly hanging over her underwear and slightly-bulging thighs, looking happy and genuinely confident. As Leive says, we've gotten to the point where showing a woman with folds in her skin or a belly that sticks out (who isn't in a "before and after" feature) is a radical move for a women's magazine, even though that's what every woman actually sees in the mirror every day.
          Leive identifies the model as 20-year-old Lizzi Miller, who is "size 12-14 and avid softball player/belly dancer." Miller says of the fan mail she's receiving:
"When I read them I got teary-eyed!" she says. "I've been that girl, flipping through magazines trying to find just one person who looked a little bit like me. And when I didn't find it I would start to think there's something wrong with the way that I looked. When J. Lo and Beyoncé came out and were making curves sexy, I started to accept myself more. It's funny, but just seeing them look and feel sexy enabled me to do the same."
Lizze was also quoted in Glamour here, saying:           
          "When I was young I really struggled with my body and how it looked because I didn't understand why my friends were so effortlessly skinny," Lizzi told me. "As I got older I realized that everyone's body is different and not everyone is skinny naturally--me included! I learned to love my body for how it is, every curve of it. I used to be so self-conscious in a bikini because my stomach wasn't perfectly defined. But everyone has different body shapes! And it's not all about the physical! If you walk on the beach in your bikini with confidence and you feel sexy, people will see you that way too." 

Isn't she fabulous?! Read the rest of that articles here and here. (And seriously do read them because they are so good!) Since we are so bombarded by what we should look like, we forget what "normal" looks like.  And what we look like, and the beautiful things that make us, US. 

I have scar on my forehead.  Like big, huge Harry Potter scar that goes straight down, all the way from my hair line to my eyebrow.  I use to be sooo paranoid about it.  I would try covering it up with my super sweet 80's bangs and make weak attempts with make up to disguise it.  One day I don't even know when or why... I decided to pin my bangs back.  To my surprise, no one even noticed my scar.  Today I get asked about it every once and awhile, I usually make up some sweet story like, "I saved a baby from a burning car.." or something before I tell them what really happened.(its just from a really big birthmark,, called a hemangioma, that I had removed as a kid)  But my scar is what makes me, me!  And I love that scar now.  It adds character, and makes my face.. MY FACE!  The face my little man calls "mommy," and my husband calls "sweetheart."  So why can't I love my other flaws like that?  I guess it's gonna take practice... Things I hate about myself, other people probably love about me.  I had a friend that LOATHED her freckles, everyone else, including myself ADORED her freckles.  They were beautiful, she is beautiful. 

Let's look at other pretty people shall we: 

(p.s. this is the same girl Lizzie from the magazine! gorgeous huh?)

  Looking at these pictures make me seriously so happy.  Thank you Dove Campaign for reminding me what REAL beauty is....

All these woman are beautiful.  They all are different ages, sizes, races, shapes.  They all have a different style, personality...and they are all beautiful in their own way.  
“When you focus on the body parts you love, your ‘flaws’ fade away.”   —Madame Athena Chang, portrait photographer 
So what do we love about ourselves and how can we change the way we look at some of our "flaws?"  Like the picture "wrinkled or wonderful," it's definitely going to have to be at the front of my brain to make a conscious effort not to talk or think negatively about myself or my body.  And it's going to take practice changing the things I am uncomfortable with into things that are wonderful. 

-Let's pledge to no longer allow anything that's bashing ourselves.  In anyway!
          Words like: "fat, saggy, chunky, pastey, ugly, etc.." are words you and I can no longer use.  I forbid it! :)
-Make your wrinkles wonderful! :)
-Focus on things you DO love about yourself.  I personally love my dimple on my cheek and I love that I have long legs.
-Go through out your day with confidence!  Keep your chin up, look people in the eyes and smile.  That's something all the women in the pictures had in common.  They are all genuinely happy and confident.  Confidence is attractive and sexy. Kindness to others is hot :)

-Be healthy and practice healthy habits.  I always feel so much better about myself when I do go for a run and eat an apple instead of a cupcake. :)but lets be honest....some days I NEED a darn cupcake, so just have one cupcake instead of like...5 haha
-It may sound ridiculous, but tape a note to your mirror that says something like...
    "Stand up tall! Smile! Your beautiful and are perfect just the way you are."  or, "Dang girl! You are lookin' hot today!" or "you are absolutely stunning and very loved by everyone around you." Or whatever you need to help remind yourself that day that you are beautiful :) That little affirmation might help you make it through the hard days. (maybe even leave these notes for other people. For your sister on her mirror, in your friends car, in a movie case, at the store in the make up creative)

"The most happy people, are the most beautiful people. NOT the other way around." -Operation Beautiful

So whose with me?!?  Tell me what you love about yourself :) And the "flaws" that you are making wonderful.  Pledge to not have destructive talk anymore, about yourself or others.  Tell me the notes you left on your mirror or for someone else.

Be proud to be who you are, a beautiful, smart, intelligent, loving, kind, independent woman :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Preview for later.....

Friday, January 22, 2010

ummm... this is embarrassing

So it's been awhile since I last had a post... ok, ok. It has been 3 months! wow...3 months.. Looking back it seems like all that time flew by. And all I can say is...
The last 3 months have been, I.N.S.A.N.E. around our house it was not only the holiday season, which I know is crazy, busy for everyone. (we had a faaabulous holiday season by the way. I felt very blessed. I hope yours was just as fabulous)

We moved!
Did you hear that? The clouds parted, the angels descended, and played a triumphant hallelujahs song...AHHHHH!!!

Anyway, as I'm sure you can imagine moving, especially with a baby who is ferociously unpacking everything you just packed, is stressful. So to make a long story short in the past 3 months there has been random family stuff, Thanksgiving, unpacking, repacking, unpacking, moving, unpacking, ear infection, ear infection, Santa came to town!, organizing, ear infection, my little man's first birthday! *tear* he's so big now, he's a toddler(which toddlerhood has already brought a huge attitude), Happy 2010!, party, ear infection, surgery for ear tubes for the little man, and now.....breathe.
Holy smokes right?

But those shouldn't be my excuses for the lack of commitment to this new little blog. So I'm sorry... Be ready for all my rambling and randomness in the next couple days, as I am going to do my best to post OFTEN. Maybe not everyday, but a couple times a week.

Sooo.. In the spirit of all this being totally embarrassing that I have slacked big time on this blog.. I'm going to list a few embarrassing facts, stories, and/or obsessions about yours truly...It's only fair right? So here we go..enjoy:

Embarrassing fact number 1:
When I was little I loved MacGyver!! ok, ok... I still love MacGyver. The guy is AWESOME! I don't know if it is long, shaggy, sweet mullet, or his crafty, resourcefulness. Who else can make a bomb or an escape utensil with a toilet paper roll, toothpick, paper clip and a pencil? When you’re in a bind ask yourself, "What would MacGyver do?" And have you seen the SNL sketches about "McGroober?" ahh... soo funny.

Embarrassing fact number 2:
I am a SUCKER for bad reality TV. I always say how stupid it is and what a waste of time... But I still get sucked in to, The House Wives of Orange County or Atlanta.. or wherever, The Hills, The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Real World, and even...Jersey Shore WHY? why TV people do you make such addicting shows that I swear I will never watch but do anyway!?!
(FYI: American Idol, Biggest Loser, Project Runway, and America's Next Top Model are not bad reality TV shows... Just thought I needed to clarify)
(I was gonna post a picture of the infamous "Snookie" and "The Situation" here from Jersey Shore...but I couldnt come to bring myself to have their picture on my blog. So google them and see her big old weird hair for yourself and pretend its here)

Embarrassing fact number 3:
I'm pretty accident prone. I have a couple scars on my legs from shaving. I have cut myself SO bad a few times I have left big gouges in my leg and they bleed forever. Everyone will be proud to know that I haven't cut myself in a long, long time. However since Ive had my little man and its winter time it takes a "special occasion" to shave my legs. My poor husband...and I never shave my thighs, my knees are a great "stopping place" :) again...poor husband. Although the underarms always get taken care of, cause that's really gross to neglect. (That's probably tmi, but I didn't want you to judge me too much on my lack of shaving habits.) Just last year I dropped a hot iron, and it fell on my leg. Definitely a yucky burn and a nice little scar. I've been this accident prone all my life. I fell so many times on my awesome Barbie bike. It wasn't unusual for my knees and arms and face to be all scabbed up. I went into the dentist many times because of bike crashes. I was eventually made to not only wear a helmet when riding my bike, but knee and elbow pads and.... a mouth guard. Yes people, like a football player’s mouth guard. I can only imagine what people thought when they saw me pedaling down the street. When I was a junior in high school, I had a guy I was dating shoot me in the leg with a pellet gun (it was an accident, but of course that’s something random that would happen to me.) It has left a nice little circular scar on my leg. That's another story for another day though. Needless to say, I am always running into something, or dropping things.

Embarrassing fact number 4
I hate, hate swimming! It's not the whole getting in a swim suit thing, which I don't like at all either. Especially after my body being stretched to the max while preggo, leaving this gross saggy almost fanny pack of skin and stretch marks... eww... again, sorry if that's tmi, but we are bonding here :) But it's the water thing that happens to come with swimming.... I don't like putting my head under water. I hate how it feels. I think with all the issues I had with my ears when I was younger is why I hate it. With all the sets of tubes and things with my ears I was always told to not get my ears wet. I had sweet bright orange ear plugs that were specially made for my ears that I had to wear when I would swim. I HATED them! So I would rather not swim then wear those bright orange monsters. I do know how to swim though. I have a good mom who no matter how much I hated it, would make me take swimming lessons every summer. So if I am in a life or death situation I do know how to swim.

Embarrassing fact number 5:
I am the worst back seat driver EVER!!! I also have TERRIBLE anxiety, it kinda came with my post partum...anyway, its bad. Especially in traffic. I yell out suddenly... "brake, brake.. BRAKE!," "car!," "Holy crap!," "Ahh!," etc...its bad...I grab onto the side of the door, my knuckles go white... ya, totally embarrassing... Im ok when I drive though. Maybe its a control thing? I will say that I am much better in the car now though, opposed to right after I had my little man. And if I do start to feel a little..."overwhelmed," we'll say.. I don't look at the road. I strategically place the sun visor in a way that I cant see the road(day or night) or I lay my seat back....

We'll.. I think 5 is a good place to stop. I feel like we are closer now...don't you? :) I look forward to our next post together.(wow, that almost seemed, Mr. I should have been taking my shoes off to put on a different pair...) See ya! Im off to make some yummy pudding chocolate cookies(and yes, they are that good).  I think I need to give them to my neighbors above us.  The little man has discovered the joys of coming around the corner screaming at the top of his lungs to scare mommy... Im hoping they haven't called DCFS yet...

Thursday, October 8, 2009're "crazy" and I'm "normal"

I've been really surprised how many women have emailed me and wanted to hear my experience postpartum with my little man.  I would first like to preface this post with the following:
-This is in no way to get sympathy from anyone.  I do hope however that it will give someone else some hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it looks at the time.  I hope to let someone, anyone know that you aren't alone! Thousands of people and women go through the same thing.

Ok... you asked for it so here we go :)  Please note the exits if it becomes to uncomfortable or to much information, as I am going to be brutally honest.  So buckle up....

A few months after I had the little man, someone approached me and asked how the baby and I were doing.  Nice enough right?  Well the conversation carried on and this person asked, "Sooo you aren't like depressed or suicidal yet or anything?"  I could have died!  One because how could someone ask such a question in such an awful way. Number two, yes! YES!  I was depressed, no I was not suicidal, I was lucky enough that my depression didn't get that bad.  But I was completely embarrassed and taken back by the question and meekly answered, "No, I'm fine."  Now, I would have answered confidentially, "Yes, I struggle with postpartum depression, but I'm working on it."  Or something like that....
How is it that postpartum depression is such a bad thing?  Such a taboo thing?

Most new mothers experience the "baby blues" after delivery. About one out of every 10 of these women will develop a more severe and longer-lasting depression after delivery. One in 1,000 women develops a more serious condition called postpartum psychosis.*

During any one-year period, up to 50 million Americans -- more than 22 percent -- suffer from a clearly diagnosable mental disorder involving a degree of incapacity that interferes with relationships, employment, attendance at school, or activities of daily life.**

Some 8 million to 14 million Americans suffer from depression each year. As many as one in five Americans will suffer at least one episode of major depression during their lifetimes.**

 Hello, Im Megan and I have postpartum depression with severe anxiety.  I am soooo much better than I was.  But it is still a battle someday's to get out of bed.   And if so many people suffer with depression then why is it so bad for women to struggle with it after having a baby.  Or for anyone to struggle with it period!

Hence my blog title :) I joke now because I've talked to so many women who struggle with similar things that maybe we, the people who struggle...are the "normal" ones and everyone else is "crazy." hahaha. Im so funny...

I found out I was pregnant the day before Mother's Day, it was so unreal, and frightening, and exciting all at the same time.  Especially since the pregnancy was no where planned. (which is a whole other soap box)  I had the normal beginning pregnancy symptoms.  I was cramping pretty bad, which I later found out is called, "implantation cramping," its when the fertilized egg makes its new little home on your uterus to grow for the next 9 months.  I was super tired, my boobs killed, and I was waking up in the middle of the night once or twice to pee.  Then about a week or two after we found out I was pregnant, I had the typical mornnig sickness with vomitting.  The "morning sickness," eventually turned into ALL DAY sickness!  Who named it "morning" sickness anyway?!  I believe it was totally a man.  Many women I talk to say their morning sickness wasn't just in the morning. silly, silly men, what do you know about pregnancy?... *clears throat*  carrying on, I was so so sooo sick for the first 4 and a half months of pregnancy.  My husband and I had just moved to Texas, so we had no family around and not really any friends.  He would work all day so I would be home alone all day with my BFF Mr. Porcelain.  I rarely got dressed, never did my hair or make up...I was seriously so sick.  I now go to counseling to help mostly with my anixiety because my depression is so much better but my counselor said, when your body or health plummets like that your mental, and emotional health tends to go with it.  Moral of the story, if you are that sick, get help!  There is medicine so you won't throw up all the time and you can be a functioning human being!  I was so paranoid what it would do to my baby, but if I knew then what I do now I would have gotten some helpful medicine sooner than later.  By the time the medicine goes through your body, the baby gets trace amounts if any.  And if mommy is happy and comfortable, baby is going to develop better.  Sooo..moving on. The "all day" sickness finally went away, hallelujah, we were around family and friends again and things were going smoothly.  I had another little, "I want to die, Im so sick," moment at about 6 or 7 months because the little man decided to park his cute little bottom on the tube that connects my kidney to my bladder.  That caused a kidney infection and kidney stones.  So again, my health went down the tube and my emotional/mental health slowly went with it.  Then I was at the long stretch, the last trimester..duh duh duuuuuhh... ok any woman who has been pregnant before knows what Im talking about here.  The third trimester, particularly the last month...there are no words to express how hard that last month is.  You don't sleep, I had crazy bad heartburn(seriously, I went through a bottle of tums like they were tic tacs), you pee every 15 min even if you don't mean too(confession: I once sneezed and peed on my mom's couch, dont judge me!), and I swelled up like an over grown water balloon.  And then the day came! Oh that glorious day that pregnancy would be over!  It was like 2 am and 3 days after Christmas and I was throwing up(weird, I threw up at the beginning I might as well throw up at the end) and had a killer headache.  The doctor suggested I went into the hospital to be checked out.  Blood, urine and other tests later, the news of, "you have pregnancy induced-hypertension(PIH)," came.  "How would you feel about a ER c-section?"  At this point the headache was worse, I had to have a towel over my eyes at all times and I thought I would die.  I didn't care what had to happen, as long as being pregnant was not one of the options. Especially since PIH is basically that little baby telling your body, "Hey mommy! Im in here and done cooking! Get me out so we can meet!"  Finally at 8:41 am, December 28, 2008. The little man was here, my little man!

4 days later we all went home.  Our little family of 3.  I was still recovering from the C-section and getting use to being a new mommy.  I knew I loved my little man so much, but for some reason I felt very apathetic to him.  He woke up ever 2 or 3 hours to nurse, so I still was getting no sleep! I hadn't had a full night's rest for 9 months because of a ticking time bomb, called the bladder, and the other fun stuff pregnancy brings(vomiting, kidney stones, etc)!  I had no idea how hard it would be to recover from my c-section and learn how to be a mom.  Everyone tries to tell you what it will be like to be a mom.  I thought I had a pretty good idea what it would be like, but NOPE!  I had not a clue.  I was totally in love with him, but somedays I didn't care how much he cried, I didn't want to be anywhere near him.  I thought there would be this instant "bond."   That the nurse would bring him in and our eyes would meet and I don't know that would be it I guess.  I don't really know how to explain it... but that's not how it was.  We had to get to know each other.  It took time and patience.  And with what I now know was PPD it was even more of a struggle.  When the little man was 5 weeks, he got sick...and sicker...and sickest.  He had a high fever and was in Primary Children's hospital for 2 days with the flu.  THE FLU!  My mind FREAKED out! This was my thought process: "How did he get the flu?!"  "I never let anyone touch him without sanitizing."  "No one from outside the family, or anyone with a cold was aloud in the house." "We all had flu shots, how did this happen?" "I must be a terrible mother already." "I can't protect him." "I'm not doing a good enough job." "I won't let this happen again."  Obviously, now I see most of these thoughts are completely irrational.  But then it sent me into an even bigger tail spin of depression and anxiety.  Mostly anxiety about germs at the time.  I became obsessive about hand washing.  First it was just rewashing my hands twice before leaving the bathroom.  Then that led to, not being able to leave the bathroom til I felt my hands were sufficently clean(5-6 times.)  That led to fears of chicken juice and raw hamburger residue while cooking.  I was a mad woman washing my hands and sanitizing everything!  My anxiety moved to craving having control, over everything.  I would be in the car with my husband and would be screaming things at him like, "BRAKES!" "SLOW DOWN!" "car, caR, cAR, CAAARRRR!!!"  I was so paranoid he didn't see the other cars and what was going on.  Most days, if he would drive, I had to tilt my chair back so I couldn't see the road.  I was becoming more and more depressed, OCD, and anxious.  I felt alone, useless, and the worst mother.  No one talks about postpartum depression(PPD), unless its a woman who has struggles with it as well.  No one talks about depression or ANY mental/emotional disorder for that matter.  Because heaven forbid, anyone who is struggling with something like that is "crazy."

I am so lucky to have a very supportive husband, who was super patient with me and my rituals and rules about everything.  How to do this with the little man, and where we could or couldn't go, and my need to sanitize everything.  I am also very lucky to have extended family who is also very supportive and knew what I was going through.  I finally opened up to my cousin, who I knew had similar struggles.  I honestly talked to her about everything.  Confessed about my multiple hand washings.  I then talked to my mom and husband.  I then went to the doctor and was prescribed Zoloft.  I also had an appointment with a counselor the next week.  The Zoloft was not an instant fix, it took a few weeks for it to kick in.  It took the edge off the anxiety so I could function. So I could ride in the car without thinking we were gonna die, so I could cut the hand washing down to 20 times a day instead of 50.  I could eventually talk my way through the thoughts that were irrational and calm myself down.  The counseling has been a huge blessing as well.  It's so nice just to hear myself talk! To a person that would answer me back with an unbiased opinion.  I still go to counseling and have no weaned off the Zoloft.  I still struggle with germs and sometimes the car.  But I am TONS better.  It was such a loong hard road.  My little man is now 9 months old and I can now say that I can function and feel like a person.  Even a good mom at times :)  I am by no way "healed," or "cured," I struggle everyday.  I use a shopping cart cover, I still wipe down everything once a week, I usually always have hand sanitizer on me, but I can function.  I still struggle to get out of bed somedays when I hear the little man waking up for the day.  But I get out of bed! By myself! And I get through the day being a mom and enjoying ever moment and milestone with my little man.

If you are struggling or think you might be.  Talk to someone.  ANYONE!  I know it feel like no one understands and you are embarrassed.  I was so embarrassed.  But you aren't alone.  Millions of women know how you feel.  I promise it will get better.  My life is so much better now, I have learned so much and grown so much.  As a person, a wife, a friend and a mom.

I am still learning.  I have never been a mommy to a 9 month old boy before.   I have no clue what I'm doing, and some days are so, so hard.  I am still struggling with trying to remember who I am.  I am reinventing myself.  My life has changed significantly in the past year.  It all has been great, wonderful changes.  And I have changed with it.  But Im struggling with the world telling me how I should or shouldn't be or parent or look or like, etc.  So hopefully we can help each other tell the world to stick it!

*Here are some tips that can help prevent or help you cope with postpartum depression:
  • Ask for help -- let others know how they can help you.
  • Be realistic about your expectations for yourself and your baby.
  • Exercise; take a walk and get out of the house for a break.
  • Expect some good days and some bad days.
  • Follow a sensible diet; avoid alcohol and caffeine.
  • Foster your relationship with your partner -- make time for each other.
  • Keep in touch with your family and friends -- do not isolate yourself.
  • Limit visitors when you first go home.
  • Screen your phone calls.
  • Sleep or rest when your baby sleeps!
*A new mom should seek professional help when:
  • symptoms persist beyond two weeks
  • she is unable to function normally
  • she can't cope with everyday situations
  • she has thoughts of harming herself or her baby
  • she is feeling extremely anxious, scared, and panicked most of the day.
I got an email from a friend and a fellow mommy on the topic that I think said it great,
"I also suffer from anxiety. It was BAD when I first had my first son, I was a complete mess. It was SOOOO overwhelming. But life has gone on and I've learned to cope and grow! Why is it that the most important people in the world, and I mean MOMs, can feel the most unimportant?? I mean, we ARE doing the most important work in raising the next generation! Shouldn't we feel powerful? and important? and beautiful? and amazing?... like ALL of the time? :) I found it interesting how "yourself" gets lost in motherhood.. where does "you" go? Are we really gone, or are we just forever changed?
I know I've been forever changed. I think differently about EVERYTHING. I feel differently... I have PURPOSE. A BIG PURPOSE. However, that purpose cannot be fulfilled without the ME in the purpose. And ME needs ME TIME :) It's just figuring out that you NEED and DESERVE that ME TIME and then it's figuring out how to get motivated enough to DO something about it." 
Isn't she right? And totally amazing! She always has such a positive outlook on life, and I appreciate her words of wisdom.  She said it way better than I ever could. 

So go out today and get dressed up!  Even if your day consists of doing laundry, a date with Dora or Thomas the Tank Engine, cleaning, making dinner.  Know that you are powerful!  In your own life, your friends, your children, the world...honestly!  Women do amazing things.  We are amazingly fabulous and look fabulous doing it! :)  You are important and beautiful!

If you would like to share your experience with depression, postpartum or not, ocd, anxiety etc email me.  If its ok, I might quote some of you and your experience and what you've learned.  Won't it be great to help each other and build each other up!

 Have a great day!  Remember bust out those earrings, cute shoes, some great lipstick and the jeans that make your bum look fab! :)

*here is the website that I got my facts.  Its a great resource if you are curious about postpartum depression.

**another great site if you'd like to know more about mental health:

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Who? Why? What? When? Where?

I have wanted to do this blog for a long time.  So I figured to start out this new little blog addition I would answer the basic "W," questions. :) But first this quote is where I decided to name the blog "Believe in Pink."  It's from Audrey Hepburn, who I love and was such a classy woman.

WHO? Well, you can read somethings about me in the "about me" part there on the right. But I am a mom of one and a wife of one :)  I have been married since Jan. 11, 2008 and a mom since Dec. 28, 2008.  The year 2008 was obviously a big life changing year for me.  I love to shop, however ever since I became a mom its like all my fashion sense went out the window!  Weird, not sure how that happened.  Maybe cause it's so much easier to run after my little man in sweats and my big kid's shirts.  Plus if spit up, boogers, or poo get on my sweats no biggie.   I am a new addict to digital scrapbooking.  My family and religion is everything to me.  I looove to cook, and bake.  I will post some of my yummy creations for you to try if you want, and maybe some of my not so yummy creations for a laugh. :)  I love playing around here on the world wide web, and finding all sorts of fun and interesting things.  I am in an on going battle with the will to exercise everyday, I know I need to, its just finding the motivation.  Especially if I am going to get rid of this post baby tire around my middle.  I enjoy reading, nothing is better than drinking a caramel apple cider and reading a good book in sweats on the couch.  I am trying to rediscover myself.  Since 2008 was such a big life changing year I kinda lost myself.  Everything in the past year has all been a huge blessing and a struggle at the same time. Which is the next "W" question.....

WHY? This blog is mostly for my benefit. Selfish I know, but I need it for my sanity right now.  To get my thoughts out there! Not that what I have to say, or think is all that life changing or important for or to anyone else.  Or that I am that clever, funny and witty that I can entertain hundreds. (but let's be honest, I can be down right hilarious sometimes...) But right now this blog is so important for me.  After I got married to my sweetheart the big kid, their was the obvious change of learning to be a wife...and then 4 months later we found out I was pregnant which was another huge change.  Along the way, I forgot me.  What I liked, what Im interested in, how I like things etc.  It also didn't help that after I gave birth to the most beautiful little boy in the world I had some serious post partum depression, anxiety and OCD issues. *GASP* Yes that's right I said it, I had and sometimes constantly struggle with my post partum depression and anxiety.  Why is it that any kind of depression, or anxiety is such a taboo topic?  My post partum is reason 1 for this blog.  I felt so alone, and that no one understood how I was feeling until I found someone to talk to about it that knew exactly what I was going through.  I hope this blog will be some place for women to find comfort, that they aren't the only ones who struggle with whatever it might be.  Whether its post partum, a husband who can't seem to find a hanger or the hamper for his clothes, body image, a kiddo who just can't seem to keep their clothes on, a professor or boss that you dream about drop kicking sometimes..ANYTHING!  I want this blog to be for women and moms to find a friend.  Maybe to set up play dates or girl dates no husbands, boyfriends, kids allowed :)  I want this blog to be a place for women to share their opinions and views.  About anything and everything.  Big things like politics, vaccinating or not vaccinating, social issues... and little funny things like what lipstick is best, new shoes, how Spencer Pratt is the biggest jerk ever, reality TV. Seriously EVERYTHING!

WHAT? ummm I think this kinda goes with the why part. So carrying on :)

WHEN? Right NOW!!!! And as often as I can!

WHERE? Here, at believe in pink :)

Whew.. those last ones were easy enough.  I also might ask some of you women and mommy bloggers out there help me with some guest posts.  I definitely do not know everything, so I am going to have to turn to you for some help.  If you have any ideas on new things you'd like to see here, like recipes you'd like to try or hot topics or funny things, etc then email me at