"Mirror, Mirror on the wall..

...who is the fairest onnnee?...... What?  What the heck?!  I don't remember that roll being there...and when did gravity REALLY start taking hold?  I don't think those are supposed to sit on my belly button....is that a red mountain or another small person trying to take control of my chin? ok...my stretch marks are reproducing, and when did my thighs start rubbing together.....and what foreign animal has my hair turned into, it has a life of it's own...."

This could be any given morning for me as I get ready for the day.  I examine, and critique everything... tucking, lifting, pulling...trying to make useless attempts of "fixing" whatever I think needs to be "fixed."

Why do we do this to ourselves as women?  I can't possibly be the only one.  If I was the only one, the plastic surgery business wouldn't be booming!  Why is it that no matter what we think, we aren't skinny enough, tan enough, boob-y enough, bootylicious :) enough, good enough?  

I think it started long ago...the thought planted into our brains as girls and now as women what "pretty" and "perfect" is.  Maybe this is why:


From dolls like Barbie, movies, TV, magazines, the runway, celebrities we are bombarded with what is normal and pretty, and what we SHOULD look like. Why is it they know what pretty is?  How do they know what makes me, you...US pretty, and beautiful?

ummm, ya..that's not normal.. That's not even pretty....

But this:

this is beautiful....

What are the very first things you notice? 

1. She looks genuinely happy...

2. Even with a belly that looks just like mine!!!

3. She is confident and "proudly showing off her pooch" (she probably didn't stand in front of the mirror adjusting and tweaking and picking at herself first)

4. She is absolutely, without question beautiful

She is a plus size model that was featured in Glamour magazine in an article called, "What Everyone But You Sees About Your Body." (Go here to read the article, it's AWESOME!) The woman's name is Lizzie Miller.  Just her picture caused an uproar in the fashion magazine world, and with women everywhere.(including yours truly!) Who was this plus size beauty baring all?

Here is a quote about the magazine's story:

          "On its own, the picture may not seem that incredible, but after flipping through 193 pages of uniform sample-size models, the image is striking. Rather than thinning her via Photoshop or having her sit in an unnatural pose, the model is shown with a bit of belly hanging over her underwear and slightly-bulging thighs, looking happy and genuinely confident. As Leive says, we've gotten to the point where showing a woman with folds in her skin or a belly that sticks out (who isn't in a "before and after" feature) is a radical move for a women's magazine, even though that's what every woman actually sees in the mirror every day.
          Leive identifies the model as 20-year-old Lizzi Miller, who is "size 12-14 and avid softball player/belly dancer." Miller says of the fan mail she's receiving:

"When I read them I got teary-eyed!" she says. "I've been that girl, flipping through magazines trying to find just one person who looked a little bit like me. And when I didn't find it I would start to think there's something wrong with the way that I looked. When J. Lo and Beyoncé came out and were making curves sexy, I started to accept myself more. It's funny, but just seeing them look and feel sexy enabled me to do the same."

Lizze was also quoted in Glamour here, saying:           

          "When I was young I really struggled with my body and how it looked because I didn't understand why my friends were so effortlessly skinny," Lizzi told me. "As I got older I realized that everyone's body is different and not everyone is skinny naturally--me included! I learned to love my body for how it is, every curve of it. I used to be so self-conscious in a bikini because my stomach wasn't perfectly defined. But everyone has different body shapes! And it's not all about the physical! If you walk on the beach in your bikini with confidence and you feel sexy, people will see you that way too." 

Isn't she fabulous?! Read the rest of that articles here and here. (And seriously do read them because they are so good!) Since we are so bombarded by what we should look like, we forget what "normal" looks like.  And what we look like, and the beautiful things that make us, US. 

        

I have scar on my forehead.  Like big, huge Harry Potter scar that goes straight down, all the way from my hair line to my eyebrow.  I use to be sooo paranoid about it.  I would try covering it up with my super sweet 80's bangs and make weak attempts with make up to disguise it.  One day I don't even know when or why... I decided to pin my bangs back.  To my surprise, no one even noticed my scar.  Today I get asked about it every once and awhile, I usually make up some sweet story like, "I saved a baby from a burning car.." or something before I tell them what really happened.(its just from a really big birthmark,, called a hemangioma, that I had removed as a kid)  But my scar is what makes me, me!  And I love that scar now.  It adds character, and makes my face.. MY FACE!  The face my little man calls "mommy," and my husband calls "sweetheart."  So why can't I love my other flaws like that?  I guess it's gonna take practice... Things I hate about myself, other people probably love about me.  I had a friend that LOATHED her freckles, everyone else, including myself ADORED her freckles.  They were beautiful, she is beautiful. 


Let's look at other pretty people shall we: 

(p.s. this is the same girl Lizzie from the magazine! gorgeous huh?)

  Looking at these pictures make me seriously so happy.  Thank you Dove Campaign for reminding me what REAL beauty is....


All these woman are beautiful.  They all are different ages, sizes, races, shapes.  They all have a different style, personality...and they are all beautiful in their own way.  

“When you focus on the body parts you love, your ‘flaws’ fade away.”   —Madame Athena Chang, portrait photographer 

So what do we love about ourselves and how can we change the way we look at some of our "flaws?"  Like the picture "wrinkled or wonderful," it's definitely going to have to be at the front of my brain to make a conscious effort not to talk or think negatively about myself or my body.  And it's going to take practice changing the things I am uncomfortable with into things that are wonderful. 

-Let's pledge to no longer allow anything that's bashing ourselves.  In anyway!
          Words like: "fat, saggy, chunky, pastey, ugly, etc.." are words you and I can no longer use.  I forbid it! :)
-Make your wrinkles wonderful! :)
-Focus on things you DO love about yourself.  I personally love my dimple on my cheek and I love that I have long legs.
-Go through out your day with confidence!  Keep your chin up, look people in the eyes and smile.  That's something all the women in the pictures had in common.  They are all genuinely happy and confident.  Confidence is attractive and sexy. Kindness to others is hot :)

-Be healthy and practice healthy habits.  I always feel so much better about myself when I do go for a run and eat an apple instead of a cupcake. :)but lets be honest....some days I NEED a darn cupcake, so just have one cupcake instead of like...5 haha
-It may sound ridiculous, but tape a note to your mirror that says something like...
    "Stand up tall! Smile! Your beautiful and are perfect just the way you are."  or, "Dang girl! You are lookin' hot today!" or "you are absolutely stunning and very loved by everyone around you." Or whatever you need to help remind yourself that day that you are beautiful :) That little affirmation might help you make it through the hard days. (maybe even leave these notes for other people. For your sister on her mirror, in your friends car, in a movie case, at the store in the make up aisle...be creative)

"The most happy people, are the most beautiful people. NOT the other way around." -Operation Beautiful

So whose with me?!?  Tell me what you love about yourself :) And the "flaws" that you are making wonderful.  Pledge to not have destructive talk anymore, about yourself or others.  Tell me the notes you left on your mirror or for someone else.


Be proud to be who you are, a beautiful, smart, intelligent, loving, kind, independent woman :)